In other news, I am watching QVC now, and the product they are showing is a foot buffer. The feet they are showing as the "before" feet, are abosulutely the most disgusting feet I have ever seen. It's kind of like the Ped-Egg commercial, only worse, because the hosts are using it! The guy on now has the most roughed up hobbit-like feet I've ever seen. I know they don't hire you at QVC for the quality of your feet (or really, the quality of anything about you), but I just can't look at them the same now.
If you can't tell, I watch QVC and HSN fairly frequently... as in anytime nothing else is on TV. That probably sounds like I am one of the little old ladies who call in to talk to "their favorite" and tell them that they "feel like old friends, they've been watching them for years!" But I assure you, I am not best buds with any of the hosts. I watch QVC and HSN purely for the comedy. The clothes are always hideous and in no way flatter anyone's figure. The jewelry is usually so huge that it looks like it was made for the benefit of the blind. And the woman who comes on to sell tupper-ware is always dressed in a bright purple chef's coat that makes her look like Grimace from the MickeyD's gang. If you ever want to feel better about your life, just put on a home shopping network and, as long as you don't buy anything yourself, you will feel better for knowing that you have no need for a Diamonique fake engagement ring and for being shown that somewhere out there, someone does feel the need to own one.